Saturday, May 26, 2007

I Never Thought

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

I never thought I'd be in the shape I'm in this early in my life. I'm 54 now and have pain and swelling in both knees, my hands hurt with arthritis and my back is stiff after sitting a while. My right knee doesn't hurt much anymore since the partial replacement, but it still swells and gets stiff after just a few minutes of sitting. My left knee hurts when ever I walk.

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised, but I am. My mind says I'm 18, my body says I'm 75. I wonder if I'll make it to 75. Both my grand fathers were dead by age 62. My Dad is 84, but has Parkinson's disease and is almost totally wheelchair bound. My Grandmothers lived to be 93 and 102. Grandma L never had a pain in her body, however she had Alzheimer's disease and didn't know anyone for the last couple of years she lived. Grandma R had a great mind right up till the end. She had arthritis and took aspirin as long as I can remember. I think those genes won out in my body. Grandma R, Mom, Dad, two uncles and one aunt have had knees replaced. I get that from both sides of the family.

Some days I get really depressed. I'm not suppose to run or jump any more. I not suppose to lift heavy things. I just feel worthless in many ways. I never ran for exercise, but I ran a lot because I liked to go from the warehouse to the store quickly or from the basement to the living room quickly, or I'd just chase the cat around for fun. Doesn't that seem stupid, but that's me.

But when I feel depressed God always seems to send someone or something to cheer me up and get me out of the funk I'm in. I feel there is a reason for that. Maybe God is just a good and great. I know he is and I know he wants me to work for him. That's why I work so hard for my church. It's not work though. To do things for others is one of the the most rewarding thing a person can do. Doing good for others is doing good thing for yourself. I can't explain it in words, but there is joy in giving words of encouragement, there is joy in letting an older person in line in front of you, there is joy in visiting your father in the nursing home, there is something good (I can't say joy) in consoling someone who has just lost a loved one, it all helps. Kindness and forgiving are two of the most worthwhile and satisfying things a person can have.

Try it. It will make your personal pain feel better and you just might make a difference in some one's life. The change might even be in your life. Peace and good will.

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