Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Nursing Home Tangle

While driving around in circles today, mowing my lawn, I had to keep my brain moving; thinking of things, pondering, working out the tangles in my life.

My father-in-law (Clair S.)is in the nursing home now. He kept falling down at home and was confused a lot. My mother-in-law just can't safely care for him any more. It's been tough on everyone and sometimes you just want to say to him.....Get used to it! Quit fighting and fusing! Quit making your wife and daughter feel guilty! But then I was thinking, my dad was the same way. I used to get so mad at him, thinking he was selfish.

Then, driving around in those grassy circles it hit me. Aha! Why should Clair (or my dad when he was alive) change just because they moved? What, you might say..... they have changed... they are not doing what they should do.... they are not co-operating....they are not surrendering!

Who was the leader of the family? Who protected our mothers and their children? Have those men changed? Do I want them to surrender? The answer is NO! And in a way I'm glad they haven't (not all the way anyway). I found myself thinking how disappointed I'd be if they didn't fight the change and how I feel kind of proud that Clair tries to escape from that nursing home. That tells me most of his brain is still working....He hasn't lost what I've always respected and loved about him. He still has drive and purpose in his life! He still wants to be the man.

Go for it Clair! Find a way to frustrate those people out there! And Dad, I'm sorry I didn't understand when you were fighting your battle. I love you.